Exactly What We Need
by Casualtyfan9
Summary: Just a little one shot I wrote about what I would have liked to see after today's episode. I do not own Casualty or any of the characters, All rights the BBC. Please read and review. :)


He placed the mince pie next to her as she furiously tried to hide her tears

"You don't need to talk, but I'm here." He said and then shed his coat and sat down next to her.

"Just go Ethan. I know you don't want to be here and I don't need you here." She lied.

"Please. Mrs Beauchamp. Please let me stay." He said softly.

"Why would you wanna stay with an old has been like me? Why?" She asked trying to stop him seeing the tears.

"Because I care about you and no one should be alone. Especially not this close to Christmas."

"It's fine."

"I… I don't want to be alone." He said a tear slipping down his face. "I know some of what you're going through. This… this'll be the first Christmas." He paused to try and compose himself. "The first Christmas without Cal." He wiped a tear from his face and a look of realisation shot across hers. "I don't want to go back to an empty flat and celebrate without him. I can't… I can't do that. Please. Please let me stay." She nodded and slowly stretched her hand out to him which he gratefully took.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think…" She then looked down at her phone and decided to tell him. "I tried to tell her. I rang her up and it went to voicemail… I said that I couldn't come… because of something at work…" she was fully crying now and struggling to keep it together at all. "I lied to her… she's gonna hate me… she's gonna think I'm putting work over her again. I'm going to lose her Ethan."

"Ring her back."

"What? I can't."

"Do it. Ring her now and tell her the truth. Connie you almost died today. Imagine... imagine how she'd feel if she suddenly got a phone call saying you were dead… and she didn't even know you had the disease… and she couldn't be here…" he wiped a tear from his cheek. "There's nothing worse than not being there." She nodded, realising now why her condition effected him so much.

Reluctantly she picked her phone again and dialled Grace's number and this time she got a reply.

"(Mum?)"

"Hi honey"

"(Mum, what's this work thing? You promised you wouldn't do that anymore.)"

"I know and I'm sorry I…" Ethan looked at her warningly, sensing she was going to lie again. "I lied… Grace, It's not because of work.

"(Them what?)" she took a deep breath and the words just tumbled out...

"I'm ill, I'm really ill… I just finished my second round of… of chemotherapy."

"(What?)"

"I have cancer. A tumour on my heart and I've developed quite a serious infection because my immune systems very weak. I'm in hospital at the moment and I won't be discharged until at least New Year."

"(Well we'll come and see you. We were going to spend Christmas as a family.)"

"No Grace. I know it's frustrating, I really wanted to be there." She said choking up and then she paused and took a deep breath before continuing "but, I can't let you spend Christmas in a hospital. That's no fun for someone your age. For anyone but… I can't let you. So you and Dad have a fantastic Christmas, send me lots of pictures and I'll try and pop over when I'm better. (But what about you?)… I'll be fine, I've got friends here. I won't be alone" she said squeezing Ethan's hand. "(I love you mummy.) I love you too baby." And then she hung up.

"Well done." Ethan said gently and she smiled. "I'm proud of you." He said.

"Thanks. Cal… Cal would be proud of you. Especially for how you handled today. I know, I know I was harsh and angry... but you saved my life. And for that I am so grateful. You stuck to it and did what you knew was right, gumption. A very important quality of clinical lead. Thank you."

"I did what anyone would have done. I kept it a secret, honoured that trust when it was safe to do so, possibly… probably not right but reasonably safe, and then when it was crucial information I had to tell them."

"I know. I'd have done the same, it just… it scares me, people knowing. Because it makes it real." She said her breath catching in her throat.

"I know. I wanted to visit Cal on Christmas and lay some flowers. But I couldn't, I can't. Because it brings home the fact that he won't be here and I'm spending Christmas alone."

"You're not, I promise. You can spend it here if you want, not the greatest of Christmas's but it's company at least. And if they let me we can visit Cal, together."

"You sure?"

"Positive. We'll get some crackers and board games and it'll be bearable." She laughed.

"It'll be more than that. It'll be exactly what we need in our current situations."

She smiled, lifted up her glass of water and said "To exactly what we need in our current situations." He laughed and pretended to clink a glass.

The next day Ethan came back to visit her and her face lit up when she saw him. Then she noticed the bag in his hand.

"Board games?" She asked and he nodded and then spoke.

"And a little present, from everyone in the ED." She looked shocked and then smiled as he passed her quite a big box. Opening it up she found lots of cards from all of the staff; a stack of medical journals; some fluffy socks and a colouring book with some crayons. She laughed at the humour meant by the last two gifts and it made Ethan happy to see her smiling for the first time in what seemed like months.

"Oh and this one's from me." He said passing her a smaller parcel. She smiled and opened it up to reveal a portable DVD player and a copy of the Lion King.

"One day all this'll be yours?" She asked laughing. He nodded laughing with her and then pulled out one last parcel

"Oh and there's one from America."

"America?" she asked, a tear dropping down her face as he gave it to her. "How did they get it here in time?" She asked confused.

"Like this." Sam's voice came from the doorway and she looked up to see Sam and Grace stood there. "I know you said don't come but Madam here wouldn't stop begging and we wanted to be here." She nodded smiling, tears dripping down her cheeks as Grace ran over to her and gave her a hug, both of them crying a bit. Grace eventually pulled away and started bouncing like an excitable puppy.

"Come on open it! Open it!"

"Alright madam chill out." She said softly and opened it up to find a handmade scrapbook filled to the brim with photos of them "Grace" She said overwhelmed. "Its beautiful." She said and then she reached for the necklace on the nightstand which Ethan passed to her and she put around Grace's neck, fastening it up.

"Thank you Mummy." She smiled, looking at it and then hugging Connie again. Out of the corner of her eye Connie saw Ethan stand up and start to walk away.

"Ethan." She called after him. "Stay."

"You should spend it with your family."

"I don't want you to go home and be alone. Please stay, you're very welcome. And besides we need to watch Lion King." She said smiling. He nodded and then sat back down again, Sam pulled up another chair and Grace sat on the bed next to Connie, all of them settling down to watch the Lion King.

Not the most perfect Christmas they could have imagined but… Exactly what they needed in their current situations.


End file.
